Good relationships dont just happen. Ive heard many of my clients state that, If I have to work at it, then its not the right relationship. This is not a true statement, any more than its true that you dont have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.
Ive discovered, in the 35 years that Ive been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF
This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.
For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of...
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