Carmen, a client of mine, told me at the end of one of her sessions, Im no longer willing to be a trash can for others negativity.
Wow! I said. Im delighted to hear that! And I love that metaphor!
Carmen is a lovely, warm, intelligent and compassionate young woman in her late 20s. Coming from a very narcissistic mother, Carmen learned early in life to be safe from her mothers anger by listening to her mothers complaints. She learned to put aside her own feelings and be a mother to her mother. Of course, no matter how much she gave to her mother, it was never enough. It wasnt until Carmen started her inner work that she discovered was narcissism was.
Early in our work together, Carmen discovered that most of her friends were just like her mother. I sit and listen to them complain or listen to them brag. They are never interested in me at all. If I say anything about myself, they always bring it right back to themselves. Why are so many of my friends like this?
Because you are willing to listen without speaking up for yourself. There are many self-absorbed people, narcissistic people with entitlement issues, who just love it when someone is willing to...