Conflict and Change: Managing Emotional Energy

| Total Words: 651

The beginning of a new year, like the beginning of anything, brings with it thoughts of change, rejuvenation, new life, and resolutions about how to accomplish these changes. Life offers possibilities of a fresh start for our relationships. But we don’t always carry through on our resolutions.

There’s a great difference between wanting to change and actually doing it. It’s one thing to know how we want to be, quite another to be that person. An example most of us can relate to is the way we react to stress and conflict. In spite of our intentions to do otherwise, we often react to conflict in the same habitual ways. How many times have you walked away from a conflict saying: “I can’t believe it. I did it again. That’s not how I wanted to handle that!”? These habits seem hard-wired.

Can we change our patterning? I think so. With an awareness of the desire to change, we are already beginning the process. We can learn new skills. And then it’s a matter of time and practice, until the new skills become new habits. Not until our body responds automatically will the new behavior really be ours. Until then, we...

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