Jay sought my help because he wanted to get married and have children, yet the relationship of his dreams seemed to elude him. When I first met Jay, he was an attractive, creative, brilliant and successful businessman in his middle 30s. And he had a great sense of humor. It wasnt that women werent attracted to him. He had no trouble having first dates with interesting, intelligent, and attractive women. But it never went anywhere. Jay was baffled.
When I first started to counsel Jay, he was very quiet. It felt like pulling teeth to get him to share anything with me, especially his feelings. He stayed in his head, brilliant in his ability to articulate, but flat and unemotional. He words were carefully planned out and delivered. He seemed to always be tense. It was very hard to connect with him.
Jay, something seems to be in the way of your spontaneity. Are you aware of how carefully you pick your words?
Yes.
There must be a good reason you do this. Do you know what that is?
I dont want to say the wrong thing. I dont want to make a fool of myself.
And what are you afraid will happen if you say the wrong thing or make a fool of...
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