Have you ever noticed that everything is a battle with your child? If it is, then one of three things is happening. Your child, you or both are in a competitive need cycle. What is a competitive need cycle?
As humans, we are all born with five basic needs that we are genetically programmed to attempt to meet. They are survival, love & belonging, power, freedom and fun. Without getting into the detail of the developmental model described in Nancy Bucks book, Peaceful Parenting, power and freedom combine to make the competitive need cycle.
When people are in a competitive, need cycle they are most strongly driven by the need to gain more power and freedom in their lives. With a parent and child, this is typically represented by the parent refusing to consider to allow their child to do something. The parent is attempting to meet the power need by keeping his or her child safe and the freedom need by extricating him or herself from the worry of wondering about his or her child while the child would be engaged in the forbidden activity.
The child, on the other hand, is attempting to meet the power need by having new experiences and exploring the world and...
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