When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins “pulling away” you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times.
1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you.
2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: “I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen.”
3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing…anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don’t censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, “OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more.” Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it.
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