The decision I made took me out of character. It went against the grain of my early life experience and clashed with how I’ve become as an adult.
This decision has left me feeling part-whole – more spirited – part scared – uncomfortable and confused. It really took me outside my comfort box.
As a child I remember people often making comments like, ‘Children should be seen and not heard.’ I remember kids I went to school with telling me I couldn’t sing. I can remember my opinion being laughed at in a classroom and family asking me to make ‘Less noise.’
As a result of all of these comments I learned to keep my mouth shut, keep my opinion to myself and live a quite almost monkish existence.
Then at 6am one morning, while out for a walk on a country lane I had an uncontrollable urge to shout.
It wasn’t that I wanted to shout anything in particular. I wasn’t angry, frustrated or fed up. I just wanted to shout, ‘Hello’, ‘Thank you’, and ‘Yes I am here.’
It felt so good. I wanted to do it again. But louder. So I did. Then I wanted to laugh....
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