We lose our love for those who want to control, suppress or use us when we believe that:
a. Others want to control me.
b. I must do what others want in order to have their love and be safe.
c. I am in danger if I do not do what others want.
d. I cannot love someone who does not do what I want and thus others will not love me if I do not do what they want.
e. I am the victim.
f. I will not be a good person if I say no.
g. I am weak and cannot protect myself.
h. I must protect my freedom from others – by not doing what they want or ask.
First of all it may not at all true that others are trying to control or suppress us. This could be a subjective projection from our past, causing us to misinterpret their motives. They may simply be living their lives and seeking to satisfy their needs. They may not want to suppress us, and might feel quite surprised if we told them we believed that they wanted to.
Often we create our own feelings of suppression because of our inability to express our own needs and feelings. In such cases the others have no idea of what we are feeling, because we do not let them know. In such...
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