New U. S. Military Tactic To Quell Unrest In Iraq;

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New U. S. Military Tactic To Quell Unrest In Iraq; Will Drop IQ Test On Insurgents

The U. S., continuing to be troubled by the insurgency in Iraq, has decided to quell it by giving the insurgents an IQ test. The plan is to drop it from the sky as a leaflet. Meeting NewsLaugh’s request with its usual candor, the military has given us an advance copy of the test, along with permission to publish four questions before the date of the drop.

IQ Test For Insurgents

This is a multiple choice exam. For ease of apprehension, it has been limited to two multiples per question. Please, select only one answer per question. Two out of two will be counted as outright stupid.

1. What is the best way to get coalition troops out of Iraq?

1. Continue the insurgency

2. Stop the insurgency

2. What is the best way to stop the killing of Iraqi civilians?

1. Continue to blow them up and shoot them

2. Stop blowing them up and shooting them

3. What is the correct way to characterize America?

1. The principal country that liberated Iraqi from one of the most murderous dictators in modern times?

2. The principal...

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