Relationships: Giving to Get

| Total Words: 721

Are you giving love to your partner for the joy of giving, or are you giving to get love?

I received the following email on this topic, asking for my help:

Hi, my name is Adam. I am living with my parents and Im thinking of moving out with my girlfriend Patty. But there are some things that make me feel upset, and I dont really know what to do. I love her but she doesnt seem to be the person she was. At times she feels bad and upset. These periods last for about 4 – 5 days. During these times she seems more distant and our sex life just stops. This makes me frustrated because for the past year I have been working so hard to try and make her feel better when she feels bad. I thought that it was working but now it seems nothing I do works. I miss the old times because she kissed me randomly all day and it made me feel so loved and wanted. She would hold me, and tell me great things. It was like a fantasy. Now, Im lucky if she kisses me at least once in about 3 hours. I actually start all of the kissing. I start all of the holding. It feels like I have to start everything.

Mainly at times it feels like she just wants me as a friend. She doesnt make me...

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