How do you appreciate yourself? Or do you? Did you learn that being good to yourself was selfish? If you said ‘No’ were you bad? If you praised yourself or were praised, were people afraid you might get a ‘swelled head’? Most of us get the message loud and clear that praising ourselves or others would lead to ‘becoming conceited’ or ‘slacking off.’ The tragedy of this belief is that, in fact, the very opposite is true. What you pay attention to expands. Self-appreciation and appreciation of others is based on love and acceptance. In other words, as I am willing to love me, I am capable of loving you.
Much of what we say and do is called ‘constructive criticism.’ This means I tell you something supposedly for ‘your own good.’ What actually happens is that I judge what you do and say based on ‘should’ then I tell you how to ‘do it right.’ In other words, criticism is destructive and leads people to feelings of inadequacy: love and acceptance lead to feelings of self-worth. Remember: the most important task you have is loving and accepting yourself.
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