They Should Have Beat Me More – The Cycle Of

They Should Have Beat Me More – The Cycle Of Physical Abuse

In December, 2005, I conducted a two-day workshop with men who had recently been released from prison for domestic violence. With the men were their wives, as well as the father of a batterer who was still in prison.

The father, Douglas, sat in front of me, sharing his childhood experiences.

My momma was a very loving woman a big-hearted, hard working loving woman, he told me. From my many years of counseling, I knew that my definition of love and his definition of love were likely very different.

Did she ever beat you? I asked.

Oh yeah. She beat me all the time. My daddy beat my momma and my momma beat me. But she beat me because I was bad. I was really bad. Maybe if she had beat me more, I wouldnt have been so bad.

What did she beat you with?

Anything she could get her hands on. Extension cords, wooden spoons. Often I had to go into the yard and pick out the switch.

How did you feel when you knew you were going to get a beating?

Oh, I was terrified. Id beg and plead and promise not to do again whatever it was she was mad at. But that never...