Of course, we all majored in recognition skills at high school. Being positive comes as second nature to everybody and we never focus too much on faults. Unfortunately there the fairy tale must end. Complaining, it seems, is a much more developed skill than praising and many people find it difficult to be only positive. It is as if they can’t help themselves adding a crushing blow. Like Carolyn Burnham (Annette Bening) in “American Beauty” when she praises her daughter Jane (Thora Birch) for her cheerleading performance, she says, “I was watching you very closely, and you didn’t screw up once.”
It is often said that, in communication, we get the response we deserve. Bear this in mind when you next ask for an additional task to be undertaken. Listen to the words that you use. Do you apologize, saying:
“I’m really sorry that I have to drop this on you”
Do you antagonize, saying:
“Whether you like it or not you’ll have to do this by 5pm.”
Do you empathize, saying:
“I know this is a pain, but it really needs to be done.”
Do you sympathize,...